Sunday, December 28, 2014

Year in Review: Adams Top Ten Worst Films of 2014

                                    Worst 2014 Movies!!!
A year of stink.



   The year is finally over and new one is starting.  2014 we will miss you.  The year provided some great films but also a lot of really hard to watch stinkfest caught on film.  So before I write my Top 10 best I wanted to write about the crap we tried to forget we watched.  As I look back on what I watched this year I realized I saw a lot more bad films then I could even remember.  Now my top ten list might have stuff in it that I rated higher then I should have.

  So lets get this over with.

Top Five Good Actors in Bad Movies:
1. Bryan Cranston (Godzilla)
2. Shailene Woodley (Divergent)
3. Paul Bettany (Transcendence)
4. Elizabeth Banks (Walk of Shame)
5. TIE Mark Duplass (Tammy) and Paul Giamatti (Amazing Spider-man 2)

Dis-Honorable Mentions:
Draft Day, Filth, Walk of Shame, Divergent, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, See No Evil 2, A Million Ways to Die in the West, That Awkward Moment, Noah, Tusk, Godzilla and Deliver us from Evil

10. Blended
Another pairing of Adam Sandler and Drew Berrymore.  This movie doesn't even come close to the magic they shared in the The Wedding Singer or even 50 First Dates.  If it wasn't clear watching this movie Adam Sandler has lost the gift to make us laugh like the good ole Happy Madison days of old.  Hey, but he got some of his friends in this movie, so they could work this year.  I totally felt like the picture above, not that I had high hopes to begin with.

9. Rage
So, I got to watch this gem streaming on Netflix.  As I clicked on the watch button, my only thought was it cant be any worse then The Wicker Man.  So I gave this movie a shot, I really did.  Then I hit the twenty minute mark and I lost hope.  Nic Cage goes around playing Nic Cage playing Nic Cage.  The only reason its not higher is that his overacting freak outs are funny.  Might of laughed more at his freak outs then I did a comedy further up on this list.


8. The Amazing Spider-man 2

When they first announced that they were rebooting the Spider-man franchise, I was one of the few hopeful fans.  The first Amazing Spider-man movie was good, so I became hopeful for a second one.  Ill admit as well this made my Top 10 anticipated movies of 2014 list.  This movie has a lot going for it.  It has an all star cast (Jamie Foxx, Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Paul Giamatti, Dane DeHaan, Felicity Jones, and Sally Field) a new villain, and its not Spider-man 3 (or is it).  The movie is just to long and boring.  


7. The Legend of Hercules

We were given two Hercules movies this year, and only one was enjoyable.  To tell the story of Hercules you need two things, a way better actor then Kellan Lutz and you must be larger than life.  This movie had neither.  I had no idea who this actor was until my wife told me he was in the Twilight movies.  He is so forgettable in this role,  The Dwayne Johnson movie is the far better film.  There were some really laughable scenes, horrible acting as well as c.g.i     


6. Transformers 4: Age of Extinction

Now here is a movie I wanted to be good.  I'm a Mark Wahlberg fan.  But as I was sitting through this movie, which was way to long, I was bored and tired.  I felt like I've already seen this before.  They also hyped up the Dino-bots so much too.  Spoiler alert, they were only in the movie like the last ten minutes or so.  The movie is 2 hrs and 45 minutes of unnecessary explosions, bad dialogue, and characters you just don't care about.  Best part of the movie, other than Stanley Tucci, the credits.


5. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Is it just me, or is the found footage film getting old.  I enjoyed it in the Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Chronicle, and the original Paranormal Activity.  But here we are on the fifth one in this series, and there was a reason it wasn't released near Halloween.  It has no scares and nothing really to offer the series or cinema either.  Nothing new or original.  Congrats Paranormal Activity, you are the new SAW series.


4. Transcendence
Another movie I was hopeful for that let me down.  I was really wanting to see what first time director Wally Pfister could do behind the camera.  He however bit off a little more than he could chew.  This A.I. film could of been really good but it was totally unbelievable, that I could only laugh and shake my head.  The acting wasn't even good but sub par at best.  I believe it could be that the actors either didn't understand what was happening in the movie or they didn't believe that they agreed to this movie.  How could a computer regenerate plants??? Scratches head....


3. Tammy
How many times have I said that I feel bad for the actors involved in these movies?  Well heres another crap-fest.  It made me want to put a bag over my head too.  Lets just say that the marketing campaign for this movie sucks.  They put the one maybe funny scene in the trailer, so when they finally show that scene, you don't even laugh.  I was literally like why is she doing that.  It makes no sense.  Melissa McCarthy, I'm sorry but I'm tired of your same old stick.  Your trying to be funny and its not working anymore.  I couldnt believe they got Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates, Mark Duplass, Toni Collette, and Sandra Oh in this crap.  Least funny comedy this year, hands down.

2. Oculus
Another movie that could of been good.  Only problem is that dumb.  They never explained why or even how this so called evil mirror was doing what it was doing.  It has an interesting concept, that I just couldn't get around.  Maybe I just didn't understand what this movie wanted me to believe or not to.  The only reason that this isn't number one is that there is one really cool scene with a light bulb and that their was a worse film then this. 

1. Leprechaun: Origins

 With a name like that, it was a pretty easy choice for the number one spot.  This movie was made by WWE studios.  The only reason I even watched it was that they had a wrestler in that I thought we would be cool to see in the movie.  I was wrong.  The leprechaun looked horrible, and it had none of what made the original film a cult favorite.  Filled with trying to scare instead of actually doing anything else.  The characters were stupid and generic horror film cliques.  Okay, I know it was a straight to video movie but still its my worst!  Im glad its over!!!  I also want to apologize to my wife for making her sit through this crap!


Wow, that was incredibly painful!  Im glad I got it out the way so I could be uplifted to write the best of 2014 very soon.  I plan on having that out by mid-January.  Got a couple movies I need to see first (Foxcatcher, Selma).

    Heres hoping 2015 will be a good year at the movie!!!  Thank you reading and check out our other articles at almostsideways.com

Adam Daly




4 comments:

  1. So, I have only seen 2 of these. Happy for that. Here are my bottom 10 right now, though I haven't seen a lot of the bad blockbusters this time around...

    10. The Monuments Men
    9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
    8. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
    7. Are You Here
    6. Walk of Shame
    5. That Awkward Moment
    4. This Is Where I Leave You
    3. Blended
    2. Draft Day
    1. Gambit

    Good performances in bad movies:
    1. James McAvoy - Filth
    2. Mila Kunis - Blood Ties
    3. Dane DeHaan - The Amazing Spider-Man 2
    4. Bill Murray - The Monuments Men
    5. Elizabeth Banks - Walk of Shame

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    Replies
    1. Good bad list!!!

      Though I liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough to keep it from being bad.

      I really wanted to see the This is Where I Leave You movie, but that's the second person who said it sucks. Now I'm conflicted dang.

      I like your actors list too

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  2. This is Where I Leave You was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It achieved levels of badness I didn't think mainstream movies could achieve in the post-Freddy Got Fingered era. Even Adam Driver and Jane Fonda's boob job couldn't save it. That you say there are three worse movies from 2014... wow, just wow.

    As for your list Adam, I'm proud to say I haven't seen any of them except Oculus, which I wrote a review of last March. I completely agree with what you say here. I must admit I did laugh the first time I saw the preview for "Tammy."

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, Zach, This Is Where I Leave you was pretty unbearable, but Sandler at his worst, the most unrealistic sports movie since Sunset Park, and movie-going at its most pretentious, snobby, and stupid are still worse than a cliche catastrophe with a nice cast. At least it had a few laughs and didn't make me want to hang myself like August: Osage County.

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