If There Were a Remake: [POLICE ACADEMY]

Actually, there is currently another Police Academy being developed, but that has been the case for the last nine years. It has been written and re-written. It is supposedly some sort of sequel, so this remake is an original idea…I think. Anyway, I have been brainstorming and discussing this for weeks now, and I finally decided to write it down. I was a huge fan of this series as a kid, watching all of the original six movies over and over. This is not going to be anywhere near as in-depth as my The Deer Hunter remake article, but it should be fun. Check out my dream remake cast and crew:

WRITER/DIRECTOR

Original: Hugh Wilson (writer/director), Pat Proft (writer), Neal Israel (writer)

My Choice: Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg. This choice is not exactly a groundbreaking or original choice, but seeing how well the comedic pair has done slapstick humor during their past few movies (and how well directed This Is the End was), I think this would be absolutely brilliant. Even more than a fit in style, this is about the potential of casting the Apatow guys. There are a handful of flawless fits. Rogen and Goldberg would make this a hilarious hit if they were given the creative freedom.

Other Potential Choices: Paul Feig, Christopher Guest, Harold Ramis, Paul Weitz

 Fackler

Original: Bruce Mahler

My Choice: Jay Baruchel. Fackler is a lesser character, but he is always at the forefront when something goes horribly wrong. He inadvertently causes a riot in the streets that forms the entire basis for the second half of the movie. His form of humor is relatively deadpan, so a guy like Baruchel would be ideal because he wouldn’t overdo it.

 

George Martin

Original: Andrew Rubin

My Choice: James Franco. George Martin or Jorge Martín. Either way. He is the character who gets all the girls because of his phony Spanish accent and suave persona. James Franco would make this character hilarious, even though his presence might take some focus away from the other characters. We already know that he is ok appearing in drag, and that scene where he gets busted by Callahan would be gold.

Other Potential Choices: Eric Bana, Colin Farrell, Jason Segel, Channing Tatum

Commandant Lassard

Original: George Gaynes

My Choice: Fred Willard. This is the casting choice that seems most obvious to me. Willard has already played forms of this character in several different movies. Lassard is all about the goofy dimwitted humor. He is the head of the entire academy, but to listen to him talk or watch him obsess over his fish would imply that he has completely lost his mind and out of his element. Willard wears that character effortlessly and would create just as great of a commandant as Gaynes’s classic character.

Other Potential Choices: Jeff Goldblum, Steve Guttenberg, Richard Jenkins, Bill Murray

Hooks

Original: Marion Ramsey

My Choice: Mindy Kaling. This was a fairly obvious choice for me as well. Kaling has sort of burst onto the scene recently with The Mindy Project, but the first time many people got acquainted with her was with the Apatow crew in The 40 Year Old Virgin. She has that real dry humor, but if she tried to play the shy and awkward Hooks, she just might steal the show. I love the potential of this casting.

Jonesy

Original: Michael Winslow

My Choice: Lamorne Morris. Obviously, there is only one Michael Winslow and the role was written specifically for him. Morris, most known for New Girl and that Miller Lite commercial, at least could fit into the quirkiness and attitude of Jonesy. The sound effects and everything might just need to be piped in by Winslow himself, but that is not a big deal.

Hightower

Original: Bubba Smith

My Choice: Shaquille O’Neal. All that is required to play Hightower is being tall and intimidating. Shaq would easily be able to play that role, even though his previous acting ventures have not exactly been successful. I think he would have a blast in the role, and we would have just as much fun watching him flipping a car and working as a flourist.

Other Potential Choices: Craig Robinson, The Rock, Terrell Suggs

Callahan

Original: Leslie Easterbrook

My Choice: Jane Lynch. She essentially has played the part on Glee (from what I understand), except there is one obvious characteristic (well, technically two characteristics) of Callahan that Lynch doesn’t exactly fit. I think in terms of sheer badassness, Lynch is a flawless choice. Some of her scenes would be a bit awkward, but it would work.

 Other Potential Choices: Christina Hendricks, Leslie Mann, Sofia Vergara

Tackleberry

Original: David Graf

My Choice: Danny McBride. This would be the one casting choice that I would most want to see. After watching the original recently, I couldn’t help but think of McBride in that role, strapped with heavy guns and going crazy in the gun range. Picture his character in The Is the End as Tackleberry, with a bit of the Kenny Powers careless attitude. Perfect, right? Right. 

Thompson

Original: Kim Cattrall

My Choice: Elizabeth Banks. This is not a role that really requires much of the actor, but Banks needs a reunion with the Apatow crew. She has been great in her career playing the love interest, and even though she does a lot of serious movies now, she is still ridiculously funny and make the character a lot more memorable than Cattrall did.

Harris

Original: G.W. Bailey

My Choice: Steve Carell. This was a tough role to cast. Bailey has a voice that makes it pretty hard to imagine anyone playing the role he owned. Carell would be a riot as Harris, though. He fits the profile, acting much larger than he actually is. He has devious intentions, but he also needs to be able to play the helpless part at times. I would love to see the scenes where he has to yell and try to intimidate Shaq and McBride. It is not a perfect choice, but I would love it.

Mahoney

Original: Steve Guttenberg

My Choice #1: Mark Duplass. Mahoney is of course the key character in the first four films, so he needs to have that twinkle in his eye, as well as wear the innate laziness that gives him that normal guy charm. Basically, he is Duplass’s Pete character in The League. That is really all he needs to do to equal Guttenberg.

My Choice #2: Paul Rudd. This choice would be my top one if he were the right age. Like 10-15 years ago, Rudd would be obvious to play Mahoney. His characters in the Apatow movies, Mike in Friends, a bit of Role Models…basically all of his characters. Rudd is a total Mahoney. 

Bonus casting for sequels:

Will Ferrell as Mauser

Michael Cera as Proctor

Russell Brand as Zed

Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Sweetchuck

Jonah Hill as Nick Lassard

Tim Robbins as Mr. Mayor

So, thoughts/comments? Your casting/director choices? What other characters would you like to see come back in the remake? Let me know!